Monday, June 13, 2011

Growing Old {Gram, Kerrin Hughes, 2011}


Dancing across the petals her fingertips went. A few times they stumbled, but only for a few moments of pain. The Arthritis wasn’t too severe for her age, and she was able to make her way through the day will an elderly ease. Although she had never let painful barricades stop her from enjoying life. She still managed to climb mountains, jump out of planes, and ride roller coasters like any adventurous twenty-year old, except that she’s seventy-seven. Her children couldn’t even hold her back from her daily ballroom dancing class. They threatened to send her into an elderly home, but she could never bring herself to do such a thing. Even at this moment of weakness she couldn’t. The memories of her husband couldn’t even bring her to tears. She’s the strongest woman I’ve ever met. Annabelle tosses the handful of rose petals into the ocean current and gasps at the feeling of emptiness. It’s as if the petals were taking her breath to where Edward’s soul rested.
“Wow, Annabelle you sure know how to bring tears to my eyes. As much as I would love to stay here, it’s getting dark out and I barely know our way home.” I stumbled out my words and wiped the moisture from my eyes. The whitecaps were getting larger and the sea mist was getting stronger. I touched the shoulder of my acquaintance so she could see the last glimpse of the sun as it went behind the dunes. 
“Beautiful,” I heard her whisper. The feathers of her hair were blown back by a sudden gust of wind. “I love you Eddy, nothing will change that, and not even Death can steal what we had.”
I offered my arm to her, but she pushed it away with persistence and climbed the hill to the truck, “You should know by now, Savannah, I don’t need your help. I’m perfectly capable.”
“Humph,” I grunted, picked up the empty basket and chased after my older counterpart.
She had already started the truck for me by the time I got to my clunky F150.  She was reaching for the radio dial as I slammed my door shut. “Oh no Annie, not your Pop music. I hear enough of that just watering my plants at home. Those kids play their music too loud!” she giggled and turned up the volume. Her taste in music never ceases to surprise me!
I battled her for radio control until I finally turned it off. My peripheral vision watched as she tapped her fingers on the dashboard. I turned to her for just a second before going back to watching the road.
“So, how are you feeling? I’ve got water in the backseat if you need any. You can take a nap if you want”
“I’m fine! Geeze!”
If I didn’t know the truth, I’d swear she was a teenager.
“Well, since you have the energy, I want to ask you something; how do you get along in life? I mean, even when I lost my guinea pig when I was four I couldn’t get out of bed for days.”
“After all these years I’ve realized something. From loss comes pain, but you can’t let it overtake your life. You only have so many years to live, why not live them full out? Do all the things that scare you, because in the end, it doesn’t kill you. You’ll gain strength, and you’ll gain a memory you’ll remember forever. Would you remember the day you lost your guinea pig, or the day you climbed the stairs on the Eiffel Tower?  Exactly, and instead of people calling me crazy for being sad all the time, I’m crazy for having so much fun. I realized a long time ago that I need to move on…”
“Check please!” Edward spluttered. I gazed into the fiery-glow of his bloodshot eyes. Three glasses of wine and I could tell he was tipsy. Once a fool, always a fool. The walk home would be interesting.
The gentleman in him shone as he handed out a hundred to the waiter, told him to keep the change, got up, and helped me out of my seat.
“I know you’re just trying to impress me dear, but over these past few weeks I’ve realized you’re truly more than I deserve.”
“You deserve only the best! You are the most caring and beautiful woman I’ve ever met. If anything I don’t deserve to have you. At this point you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and hoped he couldn’t see my embarrassment. He winked at me with those dreamy eyes of his. I couldn’t wait to walk out of the door of the restaurant and have him kiss me.
I twirled around once outside. The light rain had just stopped and the smell was amazing and left the street with a slippery shine. Beautiful.
“Huh?”
“Oops I didn’t mean to say that out loud! What I said was ‘beautiful’. I love the way it looks and smells after it rains.”
“I like the way anything looks when you’re here,” I giggled and hid my smirk from his ever watching view. He grasped my chin and kissed my waiting lips. His lips were like sugarcane. A tingle of enchantment spread through my body and lingered at my toes.
Not accustomed to romance, I skipped away from him. He stood there and stared at the sky for a few seconds before waltzing my way. Edward caught my drift as I handed him my elbow to intertwine his in.
We walked slowly but productively; we sat on the damp swings of the playground when we got to the park. I quickly flashed back to when I had come to this swing as a young girl and smiled at the thought of my mother alive.
Suddenly he asked me a question: “What’s next?”
It confused me. I tripped over many answers. Does he mean like what we’ll do when he takes me home? What we’ll do in the next second? When we’ll get married? What we’ll do when we get older? I didn’t know how to respond, and didn’t want to scare him with a weird response. I would never want him to run away. I gripped his hand tighter and looked up to him innocently, “What do you mean?”
“Oh sorry, I was just thinking about what I would do without you. How would I go on? I know for sure that I would want you to move on, so I guess it’s up to you. What would you do? Would you be sad, or just live for me?”
“Hah. Your drunken ideas are adorable. This is sort of tough. I wouldn’t want to seem heartless, because I do love you and losing you would be so scary and I would miss you terribly! I never want to lose you! But I guess I would live. Hopefully you would want me to-“
“Of course!”
“Yeah, I guess I’d live for you. Do all the things you didn’t get to do. And think of you all the time. Not the sad parts, but of what you would be doing: laughing, smiling and just enjoying yourself. And reminiscing all of the good times, like tonight”
“But of course, I’ll never leave you.”
“And I’ll never leave you.”
“You better not!” His lips curled into a sly smile as he gathered me in his arms, “Next stop, your place to put you to bed! Haha!”
“That was the last night we had alone before he went to Vietnam. I still see the glow of his eyes every time I close mine. His spirit haunts me, but I welcome it. Knowing that he still loved me when he died comforts me, to know that our love will never die. I’ve built myself up over the years. My mother’s death and his have allowed me to think about how I’m going to spend my years on Earth. I think the most valuable thing I’ve learned is just to live while you can. Nobody’s stopping you. Embrace your free will, and your power. Go off and do amazing things!”

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